miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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