i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There's even glitter on my cock...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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