I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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