Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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