Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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