Tell her she can't have a vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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