Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
