At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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