"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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