it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
