He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize