piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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