3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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