I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to align my fucking chakras
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
