he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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