im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
