omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
