I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
