hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
