discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She even gives head with a lisp.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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