whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
