Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
