Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
