guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize