but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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