wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
