listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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