uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
