I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want her autograph on my taint
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
