Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i've created a new STD.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
