Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
