Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
