no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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