I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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