If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
