Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
