dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
3pm strippers are depressing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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