You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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