Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
