I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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