Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize