glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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