she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
