That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
