so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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