So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she pinky promised me she was 18
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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