Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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