You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
