I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to make out with him forever
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
