i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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