Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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