listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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