SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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