arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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