Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
