um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
