so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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