Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
