There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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