if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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