Just mADE A PArabola og urine
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
